I know Coop loves me but I haven’t seen him in ages and I am still scared he isn’t going to wake up. I want a normal day, just a day of normal lessons followed by a normal night. I would like that.
Just believe he’ll wake up Blaine, it might take awhile but he will wake up. Well why don’t we try that tomorrow? We can even sing a Katy Perry song with the Warblers if you wish. Where would you like to go?
I just want to feel loved, like you make me feel. Is it selfish to want that? You and Blake are the only two people who I know love me and I love you both for it. Everything is just so hard at the moment, I kind of wish for everything to blow over and for once be normal.
It’s not selfish at all. You know Coop loves you right? Everything really is and it is very lame, but in this town when can we have a normal day? You know in the summer we should totally go somewhere to get away.
I can’t help it, I have a compulsive urge just to be loved and it hurts when nothing I do works. I love you too Seb. I love you too. I’m trying but with the full moon coming up I don’t want to be too far away from him if he really needs me. I’m not perfect, I’m nowhere near perfect. Perfect is a speck somewhere in the horizon that i can’t see.
I know that feeling, I know it makes you feel just so alone and it just kills you inside, I feel like that everyday you know? But I guess I don’t really have a family like you do so. But I know a few people love me and really, I’ve started to just expect them people and forget trying so hard for others. I’m glad to hear that one, Blaine. Just do what you think is right Blaine yeah? That is all you can do for now. Just seeing as you don’t see it doesn’t mean I can’t as well.
Honestly? Not really. Sometimes I just want to scream and cry but I can’t. I just can’t. Then yes Seb, I will be your boyfriend again. I don’t know why I would lose him but it’s going to happen, my past hasn’t exactly been the greatest proof that everyone leaves me. I don’t know why I think it but I always have this voice that says that I am going to end up alone, that everyone will tire of me and just leave like normal.
Well if it doesn’t make you happy then please stop pushing yourself. Crying and screaming isn’t overly a good thing. But do what you want, I’ll be there for you no matter what. Oh Blaine….I love you. Well I already said I’m not leaving you, Blaine. But I really don’t think Blake would, sure he might push you away but doesn’t mean he’ll leave you silly. You just need to be there when he needs you Blaine and that is all you can do, I know you want to push and make things better but it isn’t. He’ll come to you when he is ready. You know anyone who leaves you is silly and very clueless, they can’t see you for that perfect person that you really are.
It’s just hard not to think like that, that I have to make sure that everyone is happy before I can look after myself. To me, everyone’s happiness is much happier as if they are happy, they won’t leave me and I won’t be alone. I know it sounds stupid but I can’t help it. If you are asking then I am accepting. I just don’t want to lose him Seb, apart from you he’s all I got left. I don’t want to be alone.
But does it make you happy? It doesn’t sound stupid at all I do the same thing, honey. I am asking you Blaine. Why would you lose him? Also why would you ever be alone silly? You need to stop saying silly things.
I just don’t know how to get everyone to like me for who I am, Blake and I have arguments, when Cooper wakes up we’re going to probably argue about everything. I just don’t see how people can tolerate me. I wouldn’t say no if you asked me Seb, I wouldn’t say no. I’ll talk to her when they let her go, maybe she could talk to Blake. I know Blake is tetchy because of the full moon but I still feel hurt when he avoids me when I reach out. Apart from Cooper he’s my only family I have, I don’t want to lose him, you know?
You shouldn’t get everyone to like you Blaine, so what if you only have a few people who like you. Them people like you for you and they matter Blaine. But you still love each other and you still have each other and that matters. Don’t think like that Blaine, if you argue then you do, don’t stress about it. Why would you say that? Well I’m asking you Blaine…so would you? I think she’s already talked to Blake before? She said to be she has…but I have no idea. I know you don’t want to lose him and I know he doesn’t want to lose you. But you have to know even if you reach out sometimes that isn’t going to help.
I want people to be happy, I just want everyone to be happy with me and yet I fear that they never are. I still love you Seb, even as a human I still know that. I guess it could be that, I would have to ask her but with the initiative I wouldn’t want to get arrested. I’m trying but with Cooper still being in a coma, I think that he thinks that he’s going to lose me next so he’s trying to space himself, I’m honestly not sure why he’s been avoiding me.
I try and make people happy as well you know? It’s hard I know, it’s hard to make everyone happy if you hate yourself..if you feel like everyone will just end up leaving you. But then you think, about people leaving you so you try harder and harder to make everyone happy. I try that, but then I never make myself happy and I just feel upset all the time. Would you ever be my boyfriend again? You could always talk to her when they let her go? Have you tried talking to him about this? Just try and talk to him that is all you can do. Or just give him time to open up? But you know if I was him…can’t say I would be that open with my feels. I think if you want to talk to him wait until the full moon is gone and yeah…
Okay Seb, I’ll call you Seb. I don’t know if I do or don’t, everyone seemed much happier when I was a demon, you didn’t have to worry about me dying. Just because we aren’t dating doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. It doesn’t seem like something Frankie would do though, who would purposely hand themselves in? I’m worried about him too but if I try and say something he’ll push me away, I will say something if this gets worse but otherwise I might see if he comes to me.
Well Sebastian is my name after all, Darius is only this body name. People should be happy for you being you Blaine, I’m happy no matter what you are really. I mean I feel in love with you when you was a demon, doesn’t mean I can’t love you the same now that you’ve become human. I still want to be with you do much, but I feel like I’m just pushing myself on you and I don’t want that. Who knows? She is living alone it might be down to that? Who knows. Just make sure he’s okay that is all you can do, show him that you’ll be there for him if he needs you.